The Illusion of Choice
By Emily Jones
March 22, 2008
The buzz word for today’s women is “choice.” Every woman demands the right to choose: the right to choose to keep a pregnancy or abort it. The right to work or stay home. The right to be married or stay single. That’s one of the many positive things to have come out of the women’s liberation movement; women are given more choices than ever.
At the same time as the women’s lib movement, another movement was brewing: the natural childbirth movement. Along with a woman’s right to choose what to do at the beginning of her pregnancy, many women felt that they should have a right to choose what to do at the end of her pregnancy. The only problem was, there was no choice in the hospital. Women at that time were routinely administered pain medication that rendered them unconscious and physically unaware of what was going on at the time of delivery. The natural birth movement’s answer to that was to encourage women to birth outside the hospital, so that they could choose to participate in their own labors.
But like many forces of nature, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The medical industry responded by providing a new, more “humane” form of pain relief: the epidural. Once again, the woman was provided with her freedom of choice, and she could safely reenter the hospital, knowing she had a better option of pain relief, which still enabled her to participate in her labor.
The problem women now face is not lack of choice: it is the illusion of choice. After the epidural was introduced, whatever steam the natural birth movement had gained was slowly petering out. And combined with the safer techniques of cesarean section, the movement was effectively quashed, and women flocked to hospitals in higher numbers than ever.
But what about this illusion of choice? Women believe they have more choices now than ever in their labor and delivery, but the truth is, they are being offered conditional choices. They have less freedom in labor than they had before, only now, they simply feel better about it because they have the illusion of choice.
When women are presented with the option of an epidural, they are frequently unaware of the strings that literally come attached with it. Before a woman receives an epidural she must have an IV to properly hydrate her and stabilize her blood pressure, since epidurals have a lowering effect on the blood pressure. Once she receives an IV, she must stay in bed. She must also get a catheter inserted into her bladder, since she will be unable to get up and move around. And usually, an internal fetal monitor is placed in her uterus, in order to monitor the baby’s heart rate more closely, since epidurals have an adverse effect on baby’s heart rate as well. Do you see where this is going? So much for being an “active participant” in one’s labor.
Another current fashion is the birth plan. Women write a birth plan with the promise of having a choice in their labors. But there are several things fundamentally flawed with this concept. First of all, when a woman has to ask specifically not to be violated, taken advantage of, and asked permission before procedures are performed, that’s not a true choice: that’s making a deal with the devil. Second of all, there is absolutely no guarantee that her wishes will be honored.
The birth plan is typically addressed to the doctor, who will not be one she will have to answer to in labor. The doctor will often not show up until the woman is ready to push, so she has no real ally in him (or her) throughout the rest of her labor. And as is standard practice in many large practices today, there is not even the guarantee that her doctor will be the one on rotation that day. Even if it is her doctor that appears throughout her labor, there are literally hundreds of different scenarios that a doctor can present that will negate her original birth plan. For some reason or another, the doctor WILL find a reason to insist she has some procedure or test performed contrary to her birth plan.
The sad fact is, a woman cannot reasonably expect to enter a doctor’s territory and then presume to tell him/her how to do their job. But the medical establishment still wants you to believe you have a choice.
What choices do you really have when you enter a hospital? You must submit to their policies and you must defer to their judgments. Many women have told me that they were successful in having everything they wanted in the hospital without ever having to fight for it. I don’t believe it. Some concession had to made somewhere along the way, be it writing a birth plan, finding a doctor sympathetic to their philosophy, or some “small” concession, like a hep lock IV instead of a continuous line.
And the illusion of choice doesn’t exist only in the hospital. Where else will you give birth if not in the hospital? The medical system today has virtually eliminated women’s right to even choose the location of their birth. In many states, midwives are illegal. In other states, midwives are licensed and legal, but have so many restrictions placed on who they can accept as patients, that they are severely limited in the type of clients they can accept.
Women who have breech babies and twins have almost no choice in the matter. Women who have had a previous c-section have almost no choice. In states where midwives are legal, they are prohibited from attending those births. Doctors and hospitals refuse to allow these women to give birth vaginally. So what real choice do they have? A c-section, or a home birth either attended by an unlicensed midwife or no midwife at all.
What boggles my mind in all of this is that the women’s liberation movement has not taken a more vocal opposition to this trend. Women who argue and fight for women’s rights, particularly reproductive rights, seem to completely overlook the fact that pregnant women have no rights. The legal and medical systems are quietly and slowly narrowing women’s choices, and soon they will be left with none.
Sure, women have a choice between this pain reliever and that pain reliever. They can choose which hospital or which doctor. But is this true freedom of choice? No, it is the illusion of choice. It is tantamount to our helping our toddlers get dressed in the morning: they don’t get a carte blanche to select their clothes, they get a couple of choices from those that we select for them.
As long as women are being offered a choice, they will continue to be complacent in those choices, forgetting that there is a bigger picture, a bigger issue concerning their rights as human beings.
Many natural birth advocates today are pushing the birth plan, and encouraging women to be proactive in advocating for themselves in the hospital. I don’t think this is the answer. Piecemeal demands will only be met with piecemeal advances. This is exactly what happened in the original natural birth movement.
No, I think the system is too large and too entrenched to affect any meaningful change by addressing one intervention at a time. It’s like trying to fix an avalanche with five men with snow shovels.
I think the answer is to categorically refuse to enter the system at all. This is probably an unrealistic expectation in today’s current climate, when most women have almost no choices outside of the hospital. But if we can somehow, some way encourage women to take their births in their own hands, and out of the clutches of the medical establishment, then they would HAVE to notice.
Now that’s true choice.
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9 Responses to “The Illusion of Choice”
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How absolutely terrifying and true.
It really begs the question “What is Next”?
I for one am one of the “hospital boycotters” - hit ‘em where it hurts (pocket), don’t negotiate, don’t surrender, don’t “make deals”!!
Great article. Love it.
Until you have birthed at EVERY hospital in the United States, I don’t think it’s fair to assume that ALL hospitals are the same. I am birthing at a Baptist hospital and I have done extensive research to choose this place of birth. The hospital that I am birthing at works in conjunction with a birthing center, and they are very much into women using techniques such as the Bradley Method and Hypnobirthing, and respect the process … they don’t interfere. So until there is someone who births at every hospital in this country, I don’t think it’s fair generalize.
As far as a birth plan, they may not be a necessity, but God forbid one gives birth and then fall unconscious due to, let’s say losing too much blood. I don’t think it would then be fair for the doctors to take over and do what they want to do to the patient and the patient’s child. At that point they will probably be shooing the husband from the room, but at least he can raise his voice and say “We don’t want the baby to have this vaccine or that vaccine, and we don’t the baby to have the eye antibiotics, etc” because he and his wife have a plan. I think people tend to forget that there are women who have blood disorders that cause them to bleed easily, and that things can go wrong after a delivery just as they can go wrong during one, and if a mother happens to pass out then she needs someone around who knows what her wishes are as far as the doctors dealing with her and her child. Therefore I think it’s great to have a birth plan and someone who knows it or has it on hand that can speak up for the mother if something were to happen to her.
My doctor is a WONDERFUL doctor. Again, you can’t bash them all … you haven’t had them all as doctors. She hates doing inductions and c-sections … she is all about no medical intervention. She will not induce any of her patients until they have carried past 40 weeks, and even then she doesn’t RECOMMEND induction … she let’s her patient choose. “I won’t ever recommend something that I wouldn’t choose” she has told me. “I let them know how I feel, that the body will bring the baby about when it is read, and then I let them choose.” Even after she explains to her patients the benefits of letting nature take its course, she still has patients who want to be induced. She has gotten to the point now with so many of her patients saying that they want epidurals “just because” that she is going to stop doing them soon, and I think it’s a wise decision. Again, she explains to ALL of her patients that they should attempt a natural birth, and she gives them pamphlets and brochures and all sorts of information, yet she STILL has patients who CHOOSE to have epidurals. I don’t think it’s fair for her to get bashed for what her patients choose. She is a wonderful doctor and I’m sure there are more out there like here. Many women choose to have epidurals off the bat. When my best friend found out that she was pregnant, she said the same day that she was having an epidural, so how is that the fault of a hospital? Our healthcare system is far from perfect, and there’s plenty I hate about it, but I don’t fault hospitals for giving women epidurals … I fault women not doing their research and learning the risks and trying to take the easy way out. You can’t just blame hospitals, you have to blame the ignorance of some women as well.
Also, the last time I checked, doesn’t a woman CHOOSE to birth at a birthing center? Even then she has to CHOOSE a midwife who will respect her wishes because all midwives don’t practice the same way. And even then those mothers CHOOSE whether to have vaginal exams given by the midwife or not, they CHOOSE to have the baby monitored … so doesn’t this fall within the same realm? They’re voicing a choice to a midwife and generally a midwife will say whether she thinks it’s a wise choice or not … so isn’t that an illusion as well? I know women who have birthed at birthing centers who frequently say “Well my midwife recommended” and “Well my midwife says …” Well if the midwife is making all of these comments and pushing opinions upon her patients, then isn’t she too giving her clients conditional choice? I see some very hypocritical things going on in this essay.
I hate to say it, but I see that it has come to the day where mothers can’t just appreciate another mother’s choice in WHERE they birth, as opposed to the mother having a natural birth. Just like the circ vs. anti-circ debate, I see a time coming where mothers who birth in hospitals, no matter how natural the birth, will get bashed and criticized for their decision. I see this prejudice growing everyday and I’m just waiting for it to get full blown. It’s sickening that now the environment isn’t good enough. Next it’ll be that nothing is good enough except for home births. It’s ridiculous! Mother’s should encourage one another not bring each other down, and that’s EXACTLY what this article does. It nonchalantly bashes those who birth in hospitals, basically saying they’re ignorant in that they believe they have a choice. I stand by my decision to birth where I’m birthing. I’m going to have a natural birth whether it’s natural to you or anyone else due to where I’m having it. Until you all can pay the medical bills of women whose insurance only covers them birthing at a hospital, then I don’t think it’s fair for you to say anything about those who have to birth in hospitals.
I’m sorry if some of that came off personal, but it’s true … the prejudice against women who birth in hospitals is horrible and is growing everyday. It’s not always about the hospitals! How about the ignorance of some of the moms who want to take the easy route? The moms who want to have an epidural off the bat and won’t even try? The moms who WANT c-sections because they don’t want to give birth to a “big baby.” Yes there are some doctors and hospitals that say they should do it, but a lot of moms also make the choice to have the procedures done, so I see it as being a problem on behalf of both parties. I’m expecting my first and I plan on birthing naturally, but I can’t even get encouragement from women due to the fact that I’m birthing in a hospital, and it’s sad. Thank God for my family and friends, but for those who don’t have a strong support system, it’s sad that they won’t even be able to get support because of WHERE they birth and not HOW they are birthing. I have faith in my body that my baby will come when he is ready, and that I CAN bring him into this world without intervention. I plan on laboring at home as much as possible so that I’m not even tempted to have an epidural, and even when I get to the hospital I have asked to NOT be offered an epidural. I frequently visit the hospital to meet the staff and talk to them about my wishes.
A lot of women think that running off to birthing centers and doing homebirths is going to help the situation, but hospitals won’t ever really lose their funding. They are always going to have to treat cancer patients, aids patients, they’re going to have to do surgeries and fix broken arms, so why run away? Why not fight from the inside? I’d rather continue to go visit the hospital that I plan on birthing at, meeting the staff, and talking to them about what I want and say it over and over so that it gets imprinted within them so that I WILL have a birth that goes MY way. I would rather try to solve the problem from the inside instead of running far away from it.
As for my doctor, she probably won’t be there until late, but she has a copy of birth plan in my files (she ASKS her patients to do them!) and she knows that I don’t want my son’s cord to be cut early, that I want him examined on my abdomen, that I don’t want him to have eye antibiotics, etc. and she excepts it. She’s a rare find, but like I said, you can’t knock them all until you have tried them all.
In the end, the fault lies with many parties, and that’s what I was trying to say. You can blame hospitals and doctors because yes, there are some who force their opinions on women, but you can also blame some women for not researching and finding out what their rights are. I researched my hospital and my doctor to make sure that they would accommodate for what I want and the techniques I would be using. I didn’t just choose a hospital because someone I know birthed there (as women often do). So blame the industry, but blame the ignorance too. And if women who choose to birth in hospitals, for whatever reason, continue to bashed even if they want a natural birth, then I feel like you’re just pushing them towards intervention. How about supporting them in their goal to a natural birth, no matter where they decide to birth. How about letting them know that they have a choice and that they should voice it. Why not do that instead of posting articles like this?
“How about letting them know that they have a choice and that they should voice it. Why not do that instead of posting articles like this?”
Because women do not really have a choice. That was the point of this article. You can plan, and discuss, and be confident all you like, but the fact is that 95% of women who plan for a natural birth in a hospital will walk out without one. The hospitals and doctors would like to let you think you do, but if it comes down to your birth plan or their convenience, guess which gets sacrificed?
And the fact that you even have to tell them not to abuse you or do anything without your permission says a great deal about the institution in which you are entering. When you have your baby, please come back and tell me how wrong I was, and how 100% natural and intervention-free your experience was, and I will happily send you an apology.
Gladly. I bookmarked this page so that I can do so.
I understand the frustration and sadness the fueled this article. I have been a nursing assistant at a wonderful hospital, a doula at a variety of hospitals, a nurse at a free standing birth center and now a nurse at a hospital.
As a nursing assistant I worked at a hospital where most of the births were attended by midwives and almost half of the birthing rooms had an aqua doula for water births. I thought it would be an awesome place to work. It was very good and in that I mean much better than other hospitals but at the end of my training as a nurse I didn’t want to work there anymore. In the almost three years I worked there I realized that although it was a much, much better hospital that others it was still a hospital. In that I mean they do have water birth, but only for those mothers and babies who “qualify.” There were very strict parameters for water births. There were many nurses who would really help moms have the natural birth they wanted but many nurses who weren’t as helpful or who felt entitled to be in charge of the situation. It should be the birthing mother and her support who are in charge with the assistance and guidance of the hospital staff. Policy and procedures are made for populations, not individuals.
As a Doula I worked in a variety of hospitals, all of which I knew I never wanted to have any of my babies in.
As a nurse at a free-standing birth center I loved my job. I worked with wonderful midwives and nurses. I feel so blessed to have seen so many births in which the mothers and babies were respected and cared for. I always felt safe working with the midwives and just like most free-standing birth centers our outcomes were much better than hospital statistics for the same demographic. In fact our client based averaged about %70 medi-cal. They were largely poor, undereducated, and unsupported but our midwives provided extensive education on pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and infant care and our mothers did a wonderful job. Our breastfeeding rate was %98 at six weeks and most continued long after that.
I moved and had to find a new job. Now there are no free-standing birth centers within driving distance that are busy enough to have a staff RN. (But I am on call for a local birth center.) So needing to work I struggled with working at a hospital. I now work on the mother-baby unit and get to support new mothers and breastfeeding. It is difficult and I feel many mothers and babies are short changed by the care they receive, although many in the medical industry would say that women get great care at our facility. We are a baby friendly hospital and have a lactation consultant on the floor every day for eight hours. Our breastfeeding rate is better than most but still far, far lower than what I’m used to and probably the same demographics as the birth center where I worked.
I have been asked several times if I will work in labor and delivery. I am very hesitant because I don’t know if I could handle what I think is abuse to women, their babies and often also their support but is considered normal obstetrical care in our society. Most “policies” and usual care for labor and delivery patients in our country is not evidence based and in place for provider convenience and to help facilitate patient “flow” from L&D to postpartum. I don’t work in some horrible hospital, many families drive past other hospitals they could deliver at to get to us because it is more appealing than others and I also believe is better than many others in our geographical location.
I advocate for my patients and try to support them in their wishes and beliefs.
I agree with the article that most births need to come out of the hospital. Western European countries that have the best birth outcomes in the world have many more births in birth centers and home. Their mothers also see midwives for prenatal care and only see an OB if a medical need arises. They also spend a lot less money than we do. Our nations c-section rate is now 30% and our maternal mortality is going up. Did you know that if you have a c-section(2in 1000) your baby is twice as likely to die than if you have a vaginal delivery(1in 1000).
Now this is where I disagree with the article. I believe educate mothers and their support and they have to make the best decision for themselves. Women can have what they want in the hospital but it very seldom happens the way they really want it to. If you do choose to deliver in the hospital you CAN do anything you want, policies and procedures are just recommendations and you don’t have to follow them, BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT. And don’t plan on you fighting for yourself. A mother in labor is not in a good position to advocate for herself. And don’t leave it all to your husband either because when he gets scared by all the possible poor outcomes the doctors will threaten you with you will need someone who is educated, experienced and knows your wishes (like a good doula) to guide you.
Having worked in many settings and attended homebirths also. I would NOT deliver in the hospital unless medically necessary(and my medically necessary is probably different than most OBs). Birth centers and home is the best birth place for most healthy women and their babies.
Also, lots of birth centers and home birth midwives take medi-cal and other government funded health insurance. Most birth centers and home birth midwives have flexible payment plans. Birth is not just a one day event. Your baby’s birth lasts all their life and significantly affects you as a mother and woman. The place where you deliver also greatly affects your success at breastfeeding which is vitally important to you and your child.
Educate yourself, be strong and above all follow your intuition.
Many blessings in birth, life and love.
I haven’t forgotten. I have 7 more weeks until I’m due, if he comes then. Whenever he comes, I’ll be sure to post my birth story here.
I promised to post my birth story for you here. I birthed in a hospital and I must say that I had a very natural birth. I posted this on another site for friends so that’s why it’s so formal, but here’s my story.
First and foremost, let me just say that I don’t believe I would’ve had the birth that I did if it wasn’t for research. From interviewing doctors to see if they had the same beliefs as me, to researching hospitals and their policies, it was a tedious process, but in the end, well worth it.
I knew for months that when I went into labor I wasn’t going to go straight to the hospital; that would’ve been pointless. Why go there and be in the same place for hours? Nope, my OB told me about the 4-1-1 and that’s what I used. That’s when your surges (hypnobirthing lingo) are 4 minutes apart, lasting for 1 minute, for at least 1 hour.
Ahhh, Hypnobirthing … I forgot to mention that for those who are just reading this and aren’t on my friends list. My husband and I took Hypnobirthing classes together and they helped tons, as you will read. I HIGHLY recommend the course to anyone who wants a natural birth that they don’t have to scream and moan through.
Anyway, I got up to go to the restroom at about 3 A.M. on Sunday morning (August 3rd, my due date). When I woke up I had a little tinge of pain, but I thought it was just a BH surge and didn’t pay it much attention. Well they continued so I thought I’d better time them (with my handy, dandy kickTrak). I knew that I was having actual surges when I had some that were MUCH stronger than the previous ones, and the time between them varied. Naturally, hubby woke up and asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was having surges. He asked me how far apart they were and how I was feeling. At that point they were maybe 12 minutes apart, and I told him that they weren’t bad enough to keep me awake …. I was pooped. So we rolled over and went back to sleep.
I woke up a little after 7 A.M. Hubby had gotten up to make breakfast and woke me up as well. I picked up my kickTrak and began timing my surges again. They were, again, stronger, and closer together, around 7 minutes apart now. At this point I was putting my hypnobirthing relaxation, visualization, and breathing techniques to much use. I think there was one time when I lost focus and actually felt contractions, and it was that morning. When I felt the actual pain, I went straight back into hypnobirthing mode. When I tell you it works wonders, it works WONDERS! Anyway, hubby and I sat down and ate breakfast. Like I said, I lost concentration for a while and felt a couple of contractions. I knew my hubby could tell I was feeling them; I must have had some kind of look on my face. In Hypnobirthing they teach the guys affirmations to say to their wives, to help keep them focused. He came over and knelt down beside me and started rubbing my back and saying them to me in a soft voice. My concentration turned to where it was supposed to be almost immediately.
Since the beginning of my pregnancy, my husband and I have walked a little over 2 miles a day (that’s going and coming). It was a great way to stay in shape that wasn’t stressful, and it gave hubby and I a chance to spend time together. I didn’t want to just sit down around the house and be idle, so I told hubby that I wanted to go for a walk. So we got dressed and went for a walk and just talked about whatever. It really helped to take my mind off of the surges. I can honestly say that I felt pressure and that’s about it; I didn’t feel an ounce of pain.
Our walk took about an hour and a half, so we got back home around 9:20 something (we left close to 8:00). I didn’t time the surges during our walk, so I started timing them again when we got back home. They were only about a minute closer in time. So I went in the bathroom and took a nice, long, hot shower. When I got out of the shower, hubby and I sat down and watched one of my favorite movies … Uncle Buck! LOL! I LOVE that movie! I hadn’t seen it in quite some time so I had some good laughs from some parts I didn’t remember.
My mom and dad came over and finished stocking our new deep freezer with frozen meals that my mom made. She was such a big help in preparing for Talan’s arrival. She had made us some trays of teriyaki chicken, barbecue pork and garlic potatoes, steak fajitas, and some macaroni and ham. We sat around and talked with them for quite some time.
It wasn’t long after my parents left before I began to feel a great deal of pressure. I think at this time I was playing bowling with hubby on the Wii. At around 12:45 is when I hit the 4-1-1, so I called my OB and let her know. She gave me many words of encouragement and said how proud she was of me for choosing to go natural (which she has continuously told me throughout my pregnancy). It’s always great to hear words of encouragement from someone. I was calling all of my friends and family on the way to the hospital, as well as Talan’s wonderful pediatrician; I had to let him know that his newest patient was about to arrive.
So we reached the hospital at around 1:15. Hubby askede me if I wanted him to drop me off at the front entrance of the women’s wing. I looked at him and said “I’m in labor, not handicapped; I can walk thank you sir.” He was like “Yes mam spam!” We both just laughed; we’re silly like that. So he parked and I walked in with him and checked myself in. They brought a wheelchair for me and I was like “No thanks, I can walk.”
When I got to my room I changed, and plastered copies of my birth plan on my room door (with the knock before entering part highlighted) and inside (with the no injection, vaccine, pku, delayed cord clamping highlighted) … just in case. My wonderful nurse, Janice, came in and checked my BP and everything. She asked me if I wanted her to check my dilation and I said yes, being that I was feeling a lot of pressure. I was 8cm dilated and fully effaced. After she checked me, she offered me some juice but I declined; I wasn’t thirsty. Hubby and I decided to go nosy-ing around. Notice how I didn’t say I was given an IV and hooked up to a monitor. I opted out of all of that in my birthplan which was in my file (my OB put it in there). We went to look at the babies in the nursery, then we started talking to some of the nurses. Those I didn’t know were absolutely amazed at how calm I was at 8cm dilation. Those that I had met before knew I had taken hypnobirthing and knew about my birthplan and everything, so they weren’t surprised at all.
Katie, one of my best friends and the photographer who was going to be photographing everything, came in and got set up, and soon after there was a flood of our relatives and friends.
After a few more minutes of walking around, the pressure I felt became a bit overwhelming. We went back to my room and I asked Ted to please dim the lights and put the rainbow relaxation cd (another hypnobirthing tool) in my little cd player. I didn’t feel like lugging my birthing ball in so I left it out in the truck. I just squatted down near the bed and did some of the breathing techniques I was taught. Hubby knelt down beside me and quoted affirmations. He was an absolute rock! Soon after, there was a knock on the door and it was my OB. She asked me how I was doing and I told her fine, just feeling a lot of pressure. She asked me if my dilation had been checked and I told her yes, but it had been a while and that I’d like to be checked again.
My legs were tired from squatting so I told her I wanted to hop up in the bed. She checked me and I was fully dilated, so preparations began for the actual delivery.
I started pushing at about 1:50 P.M.; Talan was born at 2:08 P.M. Again, he weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces, and was 21 inches long.
I got to feel his head when it was born, and I even got to pull him out and onto my abdomen. Initially Ted was supposed to pull him out, but he refused to leave my side. During the actual birth, I remember a bit of stinging and a lot of pressure, but that’s about it.
Hearing his cry for the first time and actually holding him brought me to tears. I looked at Ted and said “I didn’t even cry while having him and now I can’t stop!” He said “Yeah, me either.” He had tears streaming down his face as well.
Anywho, now remember I chose to have delayed cord clamping. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s when you allow the umbilical cord to finish pulsing before it is clamped. Let me tell you all something; I thought feeling him kicking inside of me was the most amazing thing, but that has some competition. To have him still attached to me by the cord and to be holding him and kissing him, it was a bonding experience like none other. It took about 12 minutes for the cord to finish pulsing. At that point Talan’s cord was clamped, and soon after I felt some pressure which was the placenta. It was an absolute breeze to push it out; no pitocin necessary. Then they took the little guy and weighed him and measured him (remember, no Hep B, PKU, or Vit K). Then they gave him back to me and a lactation consultant came in to guide me with my first nursing. Talan latched on immediately! LOL! He was a hungry boy! Then we gave the okay for friends and family to come in.
I feel like I would’ve had the exact same birth in a birthing center. I had no CFM, no IV, I was ASKED before I had my cervix checked, and therefore had it checked at my own will, my son was allowed to stay attached to me after birth … I had an amazing hospital birth. I hate that so many women don’t have births like mine, but research is key for anything. I hope women don’t just go out and choose a midwife because someone recommends them, I hope they do an interviewing process. It’s all about research these days. That’s why I said that unless you birth in every hospital in the US, you shouldn’t down on all of them nor on all OBs. There are still some good ones out there, but research is key.
Take care!
Oh, and no apology necessary. My birth alone serves the point I wanted to make.